I wrote the post below right at the beginning of the year. But somehow managed to not post it. So take a moment...read the greetings, in blue type, from almost two months ago. Then, at the bottom, in green, I've added some thoughts about how 2017 is shaping up so far.
2016 is past…we are at a new starting point. Let’s make it great for ourselves and our loved ones! It can be done!!
My husband and I have been on this journey for 10 years, as of January 7, 2017. It has had many trials and there have been many days when I wished he were different and many days when I wished I had behaved differently. Looking back at 2016, there were days when my mind told me I wasn’t strong enough, or brave enough, or kind enough to do a good job at this. But then, when going to my refrigerator for a consoling snack (quite a bad idea, but, hey…it happens now and then), I always see the quote I have there by Mary Anne Radmacher, “Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of day saying, “I will try again tomorrow.” A new year is a great time to remember that! I will try again, tomorrow, for this time, for this new year. And for the successes, we can celebrate and be thankful. And for the less-than-successes we have, I will try again tomorrow.
I love that quote! For me, it removes the pressure of my shortcomings of today and yesterday, and gives me hope. It gives the hope that tomorrow I will try again to be just a little more patient, tomorrow I will try again to find a kinder way to express when his lack of accomplishment annoys me, and tomorrow I will try again to find an innovative way to keep him motivated and help him to stay on task. Working on myself seems to be as big a task as helping him with himself!
If this resonates with you, stick with me! Come back to the site often! Together, we can do this!!
So here we are, almost at the end of February. Did you set any goals for yourself and your survivor for the New Year? Are you moving toward them? Have you achieved any of them? If so, hats off to you! Pat yourself on the back for the great work.
As for me and my goals, progress is varied. Here are some of my goals and how I evaluate my progress:
Work more on this site more frequently, to help others more consistently. I haven't done so well on this, as my followers all know. However, it has been on my mind and I have been reading about things I want to share with you! So I'm giving myself a tiny bit of partial credit on that one. Stay tuned. Check back...and you can decide for yourself if I get a better grade by mid year!
Be more patient with my husband. He seems SO good in so many ways that it is easy to get impatient when he can't do something the way he used to. I only get partial credit on this one too. For example, the other day we were out. It was President's Day and I had the day off. It was a beautiful day and I decided we should do something special, so we went to tour a local vineyard. I was driving. I like to think I'm a good driver, but I was in the middle of making a turn when I only thought I had the arrow. At the same time, we both saw the problem. I was in the middle of correcting, when he gasped, threw up his hands and made an awful face. Honestly! As if I weren't already upset by the incident! So, very impatiently, I asked why he couldn't just use words!!???! Well reading this, you already know the answer. After I settled down, I knew the answer without his telling me. But AT THE MOMENT the thought that he was struggling to get the words out didn't come to me any more readily than the words came to him. It was an ugly interaction in what should have been a beautiful day. Hmmm. I guess I don't get much credit for this goal.
But wait!! I have done some other things to work toward this one. I have been working on praising him for what he has gotten done, instead of asking so frequently about the things he hasn't gotten done. I have been trying to help him prioritize his daily to-do list, instead of just giving him items to put on it. I'm going to rate this one another partial credit.
Be more aware of my own successes. I give myself a good grade for this one! I have changed my approach to things I want to do. There are many little things, like keep up with our house, eliminate some of the clutter, keep up with contacting friends, etc., that always seem like they aren't getting done. For some time I have been upset with myself that I haven't been more successful in these areas. But lately I decided to break things down into individual tasks. I'm a big list maker. On the list of goals I've made for this week, I had a few simple ones: replace the burned out light bulb in the living room and go through the books on my night table. It seemed a little silly when I made the list to even write these things down. But guess what? Because they were on the list and were easily accomplished, I did them first! I got the pleasure of experiencing success and I AM keeping up our house...just a little at a time. Yay!
I have many more goals, but don't want to bore you with my details. I shared these few because they seem key to where I am: I'm trying to keep up with my personal goals and obligations, and I'm trying to continue supporting my husband in ways he never used to need. My guess is that this is exactly where you are too. So, if you look at your own assessment of any new year's goals you set and think your progress should be better, consider reworking how you try to achieve your goals. Break them down into accomplish-able, measurable tasks, recognize your successes, and for the less-than-successes, remember what Mary Anne Radmacher says, "...I will try again tomorrow."